Say Cheese

The FBI has reportedly been using a new reverse psychology surveillance truck to monitor the movements and behaviors of miscreants, drug dealers, persons of interest, juvenile delinquents, suspected terrorists, and people who text while attempting to navigate the sidewalks of New York City.

To address these claims the FBI held a press conference where Lt. Marcus Frederick, director of public relations for the New York City headquarters explained to reporters, “You’re absolutely correct. We are definitely using this vehicle for surveillance operations. Keep thinking that. You’re absolutely right. That is exactly what we are doing.”

Following the press conference the New York Times reported, “There is no way this vehicle is in any way associated with the FBI. New York City is teeming with food carts and trucks and Mister Softees. What New Yorker hasn’t been walking down the street and suddenly thought, “You know what I could use right now? A $575 camcorder.”

The SanDisk truck was last seen near 15th Street and 6th Avenue, with Lt. Marcus Frederick behind the wheel.