Euphoric alcoholics begin search for next excuse to get drunk.

Last night the New York Yankees defeated the defending World Champion Philadelphia Phillies 7-3 in game 6 of the World Series, depriving alcoholics in NYC precious excuses for getting wasted.

“I normally don’t get this hammered on a Wednesday night,” said 44-year-old Harold Pinkerton of Brooklyn, “but it’s the fucking New York Yankees playing in the World Series! Wooo! Wooo!”

“He’s in here every night,” said Patty Littleton, the bartender at Tomkins Pub. “He was wearing a Mets jersey two months ago. He also has a Giants jersey, Jets, Rangers, Notre Dame, USC, and a Serena Williams T-shirt.”

“Go Yankees!” shouted Ben Welds, a resident of Bay Ridge, waving his Yankees hat at the television as the players rushed onto the field. “God bless the Yankees! We did it!”

“Hey Ben,” said Patty, “what was the score?”

Ben drunkenly pressed his hat back on his head. “It’s the winning. The Yankees won the freaking game.”

“What was the score?” Patty said, pulling a pen from behind her ear.

“I… eh… screw you, Patty.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” said Patty. “Tomorrow night is college football. Virginia Tech versus East Carolina.”

“Go Hokies!” shouted Harold. “Who wants to do a shot?”

Photo by Affiliate.